Anticipation.

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The couple posts prior to this describe my uncertainty about the future. God is good:

  • Since October, I’ve been working one (and only one) job, which has been a huge blessing, to hold me over until…
  • I hopefully get to fulfill my passion for college ministry, starting in August of this year.
  • I got engaged to my best friend, Jeff McAdams, on January 5th, 2013. Only 44 more days until I become Mrs. McAdams (I’m super excited to start a blog with a new name and a new life)!

The future: visions, plans, & trust

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I thought I posted this a while back, but I just found it in my drafts today as I decided to revamp my blog:

This past weekend I went on a student retreat with Hope Fellowship Church, a local church here in Denton. We spent the weekend in a cozy lodge in Oklahoma– 30 people, perfect weather, good food, intentional time with God, music, worship, games, relaxing. We had three teachings, which resolved around the theme of vision: What is Godly vision? What is God’s hand in/on our lives? and How can I have Godly vision?

It was awesome to see God’s words speak to people in such ways relevant to each person’s own situation and to also experience the unity of His Spirit.

For me personally, here are some things that stood out to me and some questions I have squirming around in my brain:
•God wants me to have life fully– not to be worried or miserable
•The decisions I make now depend on my picture of the future
•What is my picture of the future? Why is that my picture of the future? Have I prayed about it? Does is come from me or from God?

Life of a College Graduate: Transition.

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August 10, 2012 I graduated from the University of North Texas with a Bachelor’s of Arts in English Language Arts, a teaching certificate for that subject in grades 8-12, and a technical writing certificate.

What am I doing now?

Working at Texas Roadhouse as a server. About to begin substitute teaching. Waiting for a potential job as an administrative assistant for a friend through the Navigators.

Waiting to see where the Lord leads me. In my job. In my relationship with my boyfriend.

Learning to trust the Lord. That He’s creating me into who He created me to be. That I am who I am because of who He is and what He’s done and will do– not because of who I am or what I do.

All I really want to do is to share Jesus with people. For some reason, I have it in my head that, when I figure out where God truly wants me (workplace, city, community, etc.), then I will be able to boldly share Jesus with those I’m around. Why don’t I think I can do that now where God has currently placed me? I am the light of the world because Jesus lives in me and shines through me… well He should. Many times, though, I try to shine myself and, as a result, hide Him.

It is my prayer that my words and my actions shine the Lord’s light on all those who look upon me. May everything I do be for the Lord’s glory and not my own. May I be confident in the Lord’s transforming, always-working, almighty power and in that He is always faithful to complete the work He starts.

2011. Life Lessons.

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  • It’s good to make plans; however, we must be willing to stray away from those plans when God takes us in a new direction– even if that means admitting we were wrong.
  • God’s there. Even when I don’t feel Him.
  • Important question: What am I holding on to because I’m afraid if I let go God will leave me in that state?
  • I want every area of my life to look like Christ.
  • There is no condemnation in love.
  • “Our worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God’s grace, nor are your best days ever so good that you are beyond the need of it.” -Jerry Bridges, Discipline of Grace
  • There is nothing I can do to make me the best ______. If God wants me to become _______ or be _______, He will get me there. I am made the best ______ through Him and only Him.
  • Let go of the past. Live in the present. Look to the future.
  • Forgiving doesn’t mean there aren’t hurts that need healing.

 

Desicions: The God of Free Will.

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Here are a few prominent lessons that God has been teaching me the past two weeks, each interrelated:

  1. God, my Father, calls me His daughter and loves me just the same as His son, Jesus Christ. He, who is good, created me and lives within me; therefore, I am good. Please pray that this will be transformed from head knowledge to also an understanding of the heart.
  2. God does not always give us one “right” way and one “wrong” way from which to choose. While in some cases this is true, there are other instances in which God allows for two (or maybe more) paths– neither being an incorrect decision that would stray us away from the blessing and will of God. I believe that sometimes God gives us choices and says, 

“Which ever way you choose I will bless you. Because of me, you are made good. Learn to trust the goodness that lives within you.”

For me, I oftentimes get too caught up in making the “right” or “wrong” decision to the point where I am burdened under the law. Now, there are definitely times when we seek God’s counsel and he says, “Yes, this way is of me” or “No, do not choose this.” Which, to me, makes it easier. I think it’s so much easier (most of the time) for God to say, “Yes” or “No,” and I will obey. Even in this case, God gives us the free will to choose our way over His way. However, I do not serve a God who dictates my every step; I serve a God who allows me certain decisions to walk in the freedom that comes from Him alone.

“And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, This is the way, walk you in it, when you turn to the right hand, and when you turn to the left.” 
-Isaiah 30:21 

1 Month Gone. 1 Month to Go.

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So, yesterday marked the one month period at GSP in Colorado Springs, CO. A part of me feels as if the time has gone by too quickly considering we only have about one month left, while the other part of me feels as if we have been here a while considering how closely I’ve already grown with the people, all the activities we have done, and, most importantly, all that God has already taught me.

Here are the major themes that God keeps teaching/reminding me and that seem to link together all the smaller lessons in between:

  • God is constantly and intimately pursuing me even when I’m filthy. Grace.
  • The beauty of vulnerability. Unashamed.
  • Obedience is greater than sacrifice. Faithful.
  • Prayer is EXTREMELY important and powerful. Never weary of praying for the same request over and over again.
  • God’s promises never change just as He never changes. Trust.

I know these may seem like simple lessons; however, in hind sight, these were all things that I knew (head knowledge) but never truly experienced until now. Also, I believe that many times it’s the simple lessons of which God often has to remind us. Know that God is drastically working in my heart right now. As He does, I pray that He will reach your heart so much that you will desire and run after Him like no other. He is our one true love.

My Team: Maye (Mexico), Jorine (Holland), Kelsey (Iowa), Asanda (South Africa)

Thank you for all who listened to the voice of God and helped me get here and thank you all for your prayers– they mean more than you’ll ever know.

I plan to update more often with more in-depth topics for the remaining month, so be sure to check back!

Running

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The Lord revealed this to me during my morning run:

Life’s not always about the endurance or perseverance, which are great qualities. Sometimes we have to make stops along the way to take a drink of the living water or to take a breath of life. Life’s not always about being tough and pushing through the pain and the struggles. Sometimes we need to stop completely, rest by His side, and allow Him to carry us– otherwise, we’d exhaust ourselves.

A Sudden Turn in the Road

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Often times we start to feel confident in God’s promises for us. We believe that we have them figured out, and we trust that He will fulfill them. Sometimes, they even become our hope. The one thing that sustains us. They keep us going and give us initiative and endurance through suffering. If there’s a prize at the end, then the suffering doesn’t seem so bad, right?

Well, what happens when God completely strips us of those promises? There’s a sudden turn in the road that was completely unexpected– we immediately lose sight and direction and can no longer see the end. Our joy and hope quickly turn to anger and doubt. We may even blame God and question His authority. However, His hand is guiding EVERY circumstance whether or not it seems promising.

God is stripping me of many things recently. It makes me think, “Without these promises, where do I put my hope?”
I know what the Lord has promised me; however, sometimes it seems as if there’s no way and I want to throw up my hands and ask Him: “Oh! Common, Lord! Are you kidding me?!”

My hope should be in God and God alone– with or without His promises. I should love Him because He is God– not for what or what not He can do for me.

Without God’s promises, would you still choose to follow Him? May His promises to me not become my reason for living, but may my reason for living be in Him and Him alone. May I not doubt or become angry and blame Him, but when I do, may I cast my burdens on the Lord. Lord, give me a quiet heart.

“A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.” -Proverbs 14:30