1 Month Gone. 1 Month to Go.

So, yesterday marked the one month period at GSP in Colorado Springs, CO. A part of me feels as if the time has gone by too quickly considering we only have about one month left, while the other part of me feels as if we have been here a while considering how closely I’ve already grown with the people, all the activities we have done, and, most importantly, all that God has already taught me.

Here are the major themes that God keeps teaching/reminding me and that seem to link together all the smaller lessons in between:

  • God is constantly and intimately pursuing me even when I’m filthy. Grace.
  • The beauty of vulnerability. Unashamed.
  • Obedience is greater than sacrifice. Faithful.
  • Prayer is EXTREMELY important and powerful. Never weary of praying for the same request over and over again.
  • God’s promises never change just as He never changes. Trust.

I know these may seem like simple lessons; however, in hind sight, these were all things that I knew (head knowledge) but never truly experienced until now. Also, I believe that many times it’s the simple lessons of which God often has to remind us. Know that God is drastically working in my heart right now. As He does, I pray that He will reach your heart so much that you will desire and run after Him like no other. He is our one true love.

My Team: Maye (Mexico), Jorine (Holland), Kelsey (Iowa), Asanda (South Africa)

Thank you for all who listened to the voice of God and helped me get here and thank you all for your prayers– they mean more than you’ll ever know.

I plan to update more often with more in-depth topics for the remaining month, so be sure to check back!

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Running

The Lord revealed this to me during my morning run:

Life’s not always about the endurance or perseverance, which are great qualities. Sometimes we have to make stops along the way to take a drink of the living water or to take a breath of life. Life’s not always about being tough and pushing through the pain and the struggles. Sometimes we need to stop completely, rest by His side, and allow Him to carry us– otherwise, we’d exhaust ourselves.

A Sudden Turn in the Road

Often times we start to feel confident in God’s promises for us. We believe that we have them figured out, and we trust that He will fulfill them. Sometimes, they even become our hope. The one thing that sustains us. They keep us going and give us initiative and endurance through suffering. If there’s a prize at the end, then the suffering doesn’t seem so bad, right?

Well, what happens when God completely strips us of those promises? There’s a sudden turn in the road that was completely unexpected– we immediately lose sight and direction and can no longer see the end. Our joy and hope quickly turn to anger and doubt. We may even blame God and question His authority. However, His hand is guiding EVERY circumstance whether or not it seems promising.

God is stripping me of many things recently. It makes me think, “Without these promises, where do I put my hope?”
I know what the Lord has promised me; however, sometimes it seems as if there’s no way and I want to throw up my hands and ask Him: “Oh! Common, Lord! Are you kidding me?!”

My hope should be in God and God alone– with or without His promises. I should love Him because He is God– not for what or what not He can do for me.

Without God’s promises, would you still choose to follow Him? May His promises to me not become my reason for living, but may my reason for living be in Him and Him alone. May I not doubt or become angry and blame Him, but when I do, may I cast my burdens on the Lord. Lord, give me a quiet heart.

“A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.” -Proverbs 14:30

Misunderstood (but that’s okay).

And when his friends heard of it, they went out to lay hold on him: for they said, He is beside himself.” -Mark 3:21
 
There came then his brethren and his mother, and, standing without, sent unto him, calling him. And the multitude sat about him, and they said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren without seek for thee. And he answered them, saying, Who is my mother, or my brethren? And he looked round about on them which sat about him, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of God, the same is my brother, and my sister, and mother.” -Mark 3:31-35

Even Jesus’ friends and family thought that He was crazy. We are called to be set apart from the world. At times it’s frustrating and it feels like I’m all alone in this humungous world, but the Lord is my hope. This is not my home. I do not belong here. I am an alien, a stranger, a sojourner. Crazy? Yes.

Sunday I made some new friends while relaxing, enjoying God's beautiful creation outdoors. They were having a prayer meeting, so my friend and I joined. It was awesome. God is awesome. We went around praying for one another and asking God what it was He would have us to speak over or prophesy over our brother or sister in Christ.

What God spoke to me:
1.) Be diligent where I am now even though I feel as if it doesn't matter. Then, He will continue to reward me and give me more responsibilities for His kingdom.
2.) There is no condemnation in love. This will be revealed to me through relationships.
3.) God has given me a gift of discernment and a very sensitive heart for people. He is going to use that where ever He takes me.

The third one, I've been told my whole life and see and believe it whole heartedly. Amen.
The second I thiiiiink I know where He's going with that, but I'm still not certain.
However, the first God gave me revelation on today! Hallelujah! It's so awesome and encouraging to see God's work!

To be continued…

I am nothing.

My apologies all to whom I have not been a good example of Christ. I hope I haven’t caused anyone to stumble or that I have not given a bad perception of Christianity or Christ. Guess that's what happens when ya try to rely on your own strength. I'm trusting in the Lord alone now– trying to at least. I had started to lose sight, but with His help and grace I know it is possible; however, I am human. Though I am dead to sin, I am not perfect. Like Romans 7:15-25, there's an on-going battle going on inside me between flesh and Spirit. I thank God that the battle is already won. I only wish that I wasn't so weak. Yet, that weakness teaches me dependence on the Lord and helps me realize how much I truly need Him. Father, help me look to You for strength and not within. I am weak. You are strong. Thank you for your grace. Humble me, Father. Consume my heart. Help me trust in Your perfect time and plan. Yahweh. Amen.