This week has been a hard, full-of-mess-ups week. I’m frustrated. I’m discouraged. I want to SCREAM! I don’t want to mess up; I don’t want to sin, but it just keeps happening.
Yeah, I know. I’m not perfect, and never will be. Therefore, I shouldn’t let it bother me. Yeah… yeah… yeah… But it does bother me; it kills me, and I don’t know what to do. I’ve prayed for God’s help: to help my heart, to make me strong, for understanding, for guidance, but still- nothing. I just need to keep pressing. It’s SO hard though.
Most of it all comes down to this though: me not listening. Me being a stubborn, do-it-my-way person. Each time I regret doing something, it’s because I didn’t listen to that little voice inside of me trying to scream out, “No!” Instead, I muffled that voice, choosing to be selfish and do as I wish. UGHHHH.
I guess all I can say now is that I’m so thankful to serve a gracious God who will always love me. And the blood that was shed to save me when I first became a Christian is the same blood that still saves me now from my sin. Yes, I know this, but my body, my soul, my mind doesn’t know this. Please, Lord, help me grasp this concept.